Every summer Hollywood lets loose with all the good stuff they’ve been holding back all year long. For months they have been teasing you with sneak peeks and trailers building up a level of excitement and anticipation the like of which have not been since last summer.
I kinda looked forward to this summer, as the promise of getting to see Speed Racer or my childhood hero, Indiana Jones on the silver screen is about one of three things that can actually lure me out of my house (fire and the next Dresden Files book are the others). Unfortunately, I blinked and missed Speed Racer, and it’s too hot outside to leave my climate controlled home to see Indy. That’s what HBO is for. And trust me, the way they loop a movie and play it to death, there will be more than ample opportunity to see them both Twice.
I can’t seem to recall who the big villain was in that movie, who the writers and producers thought we wanted to see the Hulk smash-oh, wait a minute, I do remember yomovies. It was a dog That’s right, they injected not one, or two, but three dogs with green juice and set them after the Hulk. They were large breed dogs and fairly mean, they did bark a lot prior to being juiced up by Nick Nolte. Hahaha! OMG that movie was awful. No, really, it was. If I want to see a guy smack a dog around, and I DON’T, I can watch one of Animal Planet’s dog rescue shows.
And, not for nothing, the Hulk as a character was totally unbelievable. I don’t mean the acting, cause, lets face it, Lou Ferrigno will always own that role. I’m, talking about that dreadful animation. It was like a bunch of guys who dropped out of DeVry did it on a lap top they stole from some high school out in the mid west. How hard can decent animation be? A long time ago when Jurassic Park came out the whole world thought they were looking at dinosaurs, and that was with what we would now consider old, aka “cheap,” special effects.
There was this one part of the movie, I think it was about an hour and a half long, where the Hulk was in a secret army base in Utah and then just started running and jumping and smashing. He destroyed tanks and planes and bombs and managed to skip right over school buses and flower beds. Then he saw the love interest, Betty, and calmed down and the movie ended. It was right before the part where he beat up three dogs. Before that were the opening credits.
I also really wanted to see the new Batman movie too, Dark Knight, but then poor Heath Ledger had to go and die. I cried when I heard. I’ll miss him, but not for nothing, this movie was so totally gonna rock. It was gonna be Justin Bale’s big break, no more would he be “that guy from American Psycho,” but rather, the Batman! Sadly, between the early reviews and news articles, and months of sneak peaks and on-line flamers, the talk of a posthumous Oscar, the latest reviews and newest commercials… I’m board of it already, and the movie is still like a month away from being released. Makes me want to see that Dragonball movie coming out next year.